New Millennium Resolutions (Or Not)
OK, so we're all still here. Well at
least most of us. I'm not saying we're "all here," I mean, my wife often says I'm "not all here," so why should I expect more of you? But if we're not living in the moment then at least we're doing a good impression of someone who is.
So, since the power is still on and food is still in stores (if not your refrigerator), then it's back to the normal New Year routine—making resolutions you have no intention of keeping
then feeling guilty about not keeping them and eating ice cream.
But now there's added pressure. We can't just make a New Year's resolution, but also New Century and New Millennium resolutions, too! Where will it end!
My personal resolution is to lose weight by the end of the century. I'm pretty sure I can manage this if I'm not too specific about details.
Also, losing weight really isn't a great resolution, being healthy is. But I digress.
My mother called saying that she saw on TV that I'd live to be 150. I'm not sure what I was doing on TV in Arizona without my knowledge. But maybe it was just "people of my generation" rather than me in particular. I can only hope.
Personally, the only way I think I'll see
2105 is as a brain in a jar with electrodes. And that's my idea of a bad hair day.
But who knows, maybe there'll be brain transplants by then, and I'll be able to stuff my brain into a clone of Ricky Martin. It could happen. Of course, all that wiggling might lead to the need for hip replacements, but again, I digress.
OK, so brain transplants are out, which
means I'm relieved of having to make new century and millennium resolutions. But I do have some resolutions for this year:
- Focus completely on attaining my lifelong dream of being named Motor Trend's Sport Ute of the year.
- Eat only foods that begin with the letter C
- Go to Sweden and find out what a Sport Ute is.
- Come up with new names for bread and pizza that start with a "C" *
- End world hunger
- See "Galaxy Quest" again.
- Establish lasting world peace.
- Learn English as a second language.
- Produce La Traviata with computer animated rodents.
- Find a publisher for my "Wallet Reading" book (unfortunately, this one is not a joke).
- Become a Solid Gold dancer.
- Protect the oysters of the world.
- Be kind and loving. Yadda yadda yadda.
That about covers it. Happy New Year!
The Mix: Sending Visual Signals
Print design is two-dimensional—web design is three-dimensional—a night-and-day difference. You page through a brochure in a straight line, but you navigate a Web site top to bottom, back and forth, and layer by layer. It's much more complicated. Our challenge as web
designers is not simply to communicate the message but to direct our readers through the message—to provide textual and visual signals that point the way. Chuck Green, The Mix Master, shows and tells you how.
Write Away: In Search Of The Truth
Readers want truth. We read "how to" articles to learn things—not false things, but true things. We want to learn the truth about products and services—not some unbelievable marketing hype. If your text says things that are stupid or plain-outright implausible, we shout "Come on!" and go to another site. Christopher Meeks, Metaphor Master, explains how to tell the truth, the whole truth, and a little more than the truth.
Moving Your Site: Templates Make It Easy
If you wanted to move your house from one side of the street to the other, could you just get up and walk across
the street? Well, I guess you could, but wouldn't it be nice if you brought your couch? Your web site works the same way. You have to make sure you bring the couch with you when you move. Doing this isn't so difficult, but first you will need to learn how to make a Fusion Template. Without a template, your just crossing the street empty-handed. Any time you want to transfer your site to another computer, send your site over the Internet for
someone else to work on, or back up your Web site to a zip or other disk, you need a template. Rick Tew, Fusion Master, offers you a simple step-by-step lesson.
What's New At I/Us
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Over 35 Components for NetObjects Fusion v4.0 and v5.0
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New v5.0 Components from Coolmaps:
QuickDrop 5.0 - Create large dropdown menus (e.g. countries of the world) in seconds populated with the contents of a simple text file you can share and edit!
FrameSet 5.0 - Stop your site from being pulled into
somebody else's frameset! Free to Standard and Gold members!
Feature Workshop - Paint Shop Pro 6.01 with The KROW - Learn Paint Shop Pro 6.0 with The KROW! The first in a feature series of Workshops. Learn how to make your own
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Feed The Hungry With Just A Click
Here's a great idea. All you have to do is visit this site and
click on the "Donate Free Food" button. When you do, a sponsoring corporation will make a donation to feed a starving person for one day. You can do this once a day, and it costs nothing to you personally.
Last, But Not Least
Happy Birthday to my amazingly wonderful niece, Ocea.
Hey, it's my newsletter, I can wish a happy birthday to anyone I want! If you want to wish a happy birthday to someone here, send e-mail to email@example.com